April 6, 2013
Spiritual seekers are difficult, or should I say rather impossible people to live with. Those who doubt this should talk to my wife and family; I am certain that the stories they will hear are many. This post is dedicated to my wife and two daughters who have always been there for me.
It was in 1994 that I had my early spiritual experiences in life when I learnt Yoga, Meditation and Pranayama. These experiences had a huge impact on me and things started to shift. I subsequently discovered that I was meant to walk the spiritual path this time around. Since then, almost all my actions, thoughts and even dreams have been focused on the discovery of the Spiritual Truths that seem to control and shape various aspects of life. I became so involved with reading, introspecting and researching that I excluded almost everything else in life. Yes there were moments in between for family vacations, outings etc. But it was a journey that had to be done largely on my own. A journey that meant that I had to withdraw from life and turn totally inwards for days, weeks and even months on end. And that was the way it was meant to be. I am aware that everyone in the family knows deep within that this is what they had all committed to, albeit unknowingly. And this is what they got. Thankfully it all is beginning to change. I know that it is going to be easier from now on because that is the stand that I am now committed to.
This post is a continuation of the last post regarding the Consciousness shifting within my being from one that was largely Spiritual to one that is Materialistic as well.
How do I know that this is indeed what is happening and not some story that my mind is creating?
I know for sure because the feelings at times are of total disconnect even from my own self. It is like I do not know (the old) me any more and that I am dealing with a stranger. There are moments when I know that I am just going through the motions of living. I also know that it is a transition phase and that I am a work-in-process. The only thought that is helping me move forward is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
The throat issue is continuing even after almost three weeks which itself tells me that it is something deep that is happening. I know that in reality, it is not a problem but a solution that is unfolding.
We all know that the 'throat' is the seat for self-expression. I have noticed that the throat irritation eases up a bit when I start expressing myself as is happening right now while I am composing this post. In life, the moments when the throat does not bother me are when I am consciously playing the game of life and expressing myself fully. It also does not bother me that much when I am practicing my golf shots.
I recently realized that the seeds of this (throat) issue were planted in my early childhood when my (old) Consciousness was developing. I was the youngest in the family and was not taken too seriously whenever I tried to express myself. I guess I learned pretty early in life to just shut up. The downside to this was that my anger, feelings, emotions etc. also got bottled up.
But then this getting choked up also became my strength and helped me become a serious thinker and a spiritual warrior - something that I am definitely very proud of. I know that I would not have been able to climb the spiritual mountains that I have done without this spiritual strength. So all is well. Indeed.
What does Core Transformation Mean?
Core transformation is often confused in spiritual circles with Change. Transformation is definitely not Change.
I will use a real life analogy to explain this. If I have to put my Indica car through a process of change, then I would get a paint job done and install a better music system, new lights, tyres, flashy decals etc. Maybe pull out the rear seat and create better space within the vehicle that would suit my needs.
My understanding of the Transformation process, on the other hand, is that the Indica transforms to a car built for the race-tracks and not just go through a superficial makeover.
Core transformation is not about making life bigger or better. Consciousness creates our reality. For example, there are humans who are always struggling with weight issue in life and there are those who just can't seem to add any weight no matter how much they abuse their bodies. What is different between the two? Their individual Consciousnesses.
Likewise a person who is Spiritually inclined has a totally different consciousness as compared to the one who is living a life that is totally Materialistic. Agreed that there are some who have bridged the gap but this is something that they have been born with and were meant to experience this time around. They just can not explain how they have this consciousness because it is something that happened by default.
What I am going through is experiencing the shift while continuing to occupy the same body. This is also described as Ascension. I have already ascended and right now I am just going through the experience so that I can be a standard for others on the same path.
Likewise a person who is Spiritually inclined has a totally different consciousness as compared to the one who is living a life that is totally Materialistic. Agreed that there are some who have bridged the gap but this is something that they have been born with and were meant to experience this time around. They just can not explain how they have this consciousness because it is something that happened by default.
What I am going through is experiencing the shift while continuing to occupy the same body. This is also described as Ascension. I have already ascended and right now I am just going through the experience so that I can be a standard for others on the same path.
Inner World of Spiritual Seekers
We Spiritual Seekers, generally speaking, live in a world that is rather airy-fairy. We are just not wired to deal with the mundane in practical ways. We would rather have someone else take care of the routine in our lives and allow us to continue to live in our own dreamy worlds. We are pretty comfortable with others making life's decisions for us because decisions that are easy for others tie us up in knots. What continues to amaze me is the corresponding reality that all spiritual seekers (who I have met) have balanced human angels in their lives who are there to help ease the journey. It's more like nature providing a kind of balance so that the spiritual warriors can also survive and continue to do what they are meant to do.
Avoiding the mundane makes us very powerful procrastinators. We can sit and look at a routine problem from all angles for hours, maybe days on end deeply wishing that somehow the problem would go away. At times the problem does appear to go away but that is an illusion. We just do not seem to realize that the problem just got replaced by something that is bigger.
We are happy being with our own kind and can spend hours talking about issues that may appear absolutely meaningless and irrelevant to everyone else. What generally interests others is of no use to us. This translates into rather awkward moments at social dos, something which we avoid if we can have our way. We are not known to be party animals and would rather stay at home alone than be with a group and discuss issues that absolutely do not make any sense (to us) at all. We do wonder why the rest of humanity is so caught up in the everyday issues that appear so trivial to us.
We are governed by mood swings which are aplenty. This alone makes us pretty difficult to live with and this is something that I am definitely not proud of. At times we do appear to be insensitive to the needs of others. I think that it is more a case of being so deeply involved with the inner world that everything else becomes totally insignificant. I think that it is a situation like that of an infant who is so totally involved in playing with his own toes and fingers that he does not bother to flash an occasional smile at the adults around. No one labels such an infant as someone who is being selfish!
Taking this further, we may be very liberal with our 'thank yous' but the 'sorrys' apparently are rather difficult to come by.
I can go on and on about the shortcomings but expressing it briefly, we are just not equipped to deal with the everyday problems of life.
Life After Discovering the Truths about Creation
The basic simple truths that seem to control and direct Creation - all creation - became absolutely clear to me about a couple of years ago.
By then, I had also come to an understanding about why things were the way they were in my life. There was perfect clarity about everything in my life especially about issues that were rather unpleasant.
I had also understood that Life as we experience it is a grand illusion - an illusion that seems to be very, very real but an illusion nonetheless. I also had experiences of this illusion transforming rather easily at times and that the reality could be changed from what it appeared to be to the exact opposite.
Along the way, these truths also helped me get rid of all the baggage of the past that I had been carrying along.
For about a year after that I also experienced that I could create whatever I wanted to but the desire to create wealth and other things that go with it was somehow not there. I felt that there was no point in replacing one illusion with another.
It was at about that time about a year or so ago that I got stuck. Everything in life just stopped moving. Yet there was an accompanying and difficult to explain deep feeling of peace and contentment. But I do admit that life got to be very boring and dull, the only interludes being interaction with spiritual seekers, a few of whom continued to knock on my door. Watching TV shows, movies, football and cricket matches were activities that I used to enjoy but these became difficult to sit through. Because I knew deep within that these were all illusions that were very, very real.
Looking back, I admit that I was just sitting on the sidelines, barely existing while life passed me by. It was about that time that situations developed at the home front and Landmark Forum happened.
What I Have Gained From Landmark Education
It was only while attending the Landmark Forum session in December that I learnt that the life that I had been living for the past ten months or so could be defined as one that was 'Empty and Meaningless'. This was a distinction that the co-participants also experienced on the third day of the workshop. In my case it was the life that I was already living.
The other powerful distinction that I understood was that 'In Life There Are Problems'. This replaced the earlier belief system that 'In Life There Should Not Be Any Problems'.
I had already understood (during my earlier journey) that I was the creator of my life the way it was and also the way it was not. 'Being Cause of the Matter' was a distinction that was very easy for me to grasp.
Another important distinction for me was understanding that I was not 'Being present On the Court (in Life)' and that I had been watching the game of life from the stadium.
The Advanced Course helped solidify the concepts that I was already aware about and these were about 'Creating Life From the Future' vs. the earlier one of 'Living Life as a Continuation of the Past'. I could easily relate to it in my life.
I understood in that moment that Life had become a bit boring because I had already erased everything from the Canvas but I had not painted anything new on it. Because I did not know how.
I understood in that moment that Life had become a bit boring because I had already erased everything from the Canvas but I had not painted anything new on it. Because I did not know how.
That was a turning moment for me and I have started creating my new paintings from the distinction of it all being Empty and Meaningless anyway. I am now free to choose the colours that I want to paint on this canvas of Life. I am free from the constraints of the past. The possibility of being alive in every moment is now a strong every day reality.
I have realized that in a way I was indeed Dead - Content and at peace but Dead nonetheless. Thanks to the process of going through two parts of the Curriculum for Living offered by Landmark Education, this is no longer my reality. The promise of the curriculum is 'Live Your Life Powerfully and Live a Life You Love.' The first part was already my reality and the second part is happening in the now.
The third part of the curriculum is Self Expression and Leadership Program. I think that I am already experiencing those distinctions in my life without going through the structured training.
Current Health Issues
The issue that has been resolved completely in the last three months or so was the frozen left shoulder that I was living with. It was not bothering me because I was comfortable with not bending my left arm beyond the degree that I could.
However, it did become an issue on January 5, 2013 during my first golf coaching session. I realized that this frozen shoulder might interfere in my commitment about becoming an exceptional golfer in the future. Amazingly, this shoulder healed itself completely during the weeks that followed.
My eyesight also seems to be improving. I have noticed that I am now able to read about 80% of the text messages on my mobile phone without my reading glasses. This was about 20% earlier. Of course I am able to relate to the peaceful mind zone when I know that this becomes possible. In this moment I do need my glasses. It does not mean that I am not content. I am totally content but the mind is restless with the huge number of thoughts that are flashing around waiting to be released. The only way to release them is through this sharing, through expression in black and white.
I do know that I will not need my reading glasses the moment I can sit back and relax. That will happen only after I have expressed myself fully after putting this post online. And after a few days, some other ideas will pop-up wanting to be expressed and the process will start all over again.
The other health issue which I know is not a health-issue in my consciousness is that of Blood Sugar. I shared in an earlier post (in my other blog in the month of June last year) about my inability to bring my Blood Sugar within the medically acceptable limits. I now realize that it was a blessing in disguise that it did not happen. At that point, the experience had left an unanswered query in my consciousness. I think I am getting the answers now; the issue was much bigger than I thought.
Blood Sugar situation happens when 'There is no sweetness left in life'. This is the mental aspect of the body, mind and soul being in harmony. I now know that I was not experiencing sweetness in life at that time because there were a couple of issues that the family was dealing with. In any case Life was totally Empty and Meaningless. There was nothing that I was looking forward to as my job (about understanding Spiritual Truths) had been completed. The old projects were over and done with and the new ones had not yet been created.
I had to go through this core transformation to come to this understanding. The peace and contentment is deeper than ever before. In a way my Spiritual experiences have continued by my transforming to a human who is Materialistic as well. I am not saying that one is better than the other - these are individual experiences that we have chosen in this life and nothing more than that.
I am aware that I am serving as a human guinea pig of sorts for bringing the Spiritual and Material energies together consciously. As stated earlier, the ones who are already born with this quality do not know how they got it. It is a consciousness they are born with.
I am more than happy to be the one going through this experience. As a matter of fact, it is a privilege and an honour to be at the forefront of helping creation move forward.
I am more than happy to be the one going through this experience. As a matter of fact, it is a privilege and an honour to be at the forefront of helping creation move forward.
So, the blood sugar situation is also not a problem but rather a solution that is unfolding. I just needed to stay firm in my commitment about attaining Better Health ... Naturally.
I know that I have lost many students along the way who wanted a quick fix in their lives by using Reiki and Crystal therapies. I was brave enough - some would say stupid enough - to share this blood sugar issue with them before taking them on as students as an example so that they would understand that this is not as easy as it is made out to be. Yes great results do happen with these therapies but I know that this was something too big for them to deal with. I do not blame them for thinking that if a Reiki Grand Master and Healing Facilitator himself has Blood Sugar 'problem', what can he teach us? I too would have run away from such a teacher. The issues are too huge and some are just not meant to look at the bigger picture. That is perfectly okay with me.
I also thank and acknowledge the brave ones (students, spiritual seekers) who have stuck around and have been in touch over the years, no matter what. Thank you for all the trust and support. It has meant a lot to me and has indeed provided the energy in the moments when I was really feeling down and low. I am a human being also.
READERS please understand that Reiki, Crystal, Pranayama, Yoga etc. are just techniques that can be used to fix something. They work beautifully for minor issues and are great techniques for making life a little bit better. Please understand that they are not designed to deal with Transformation at the levels that I am experiencing.
I want to use this example to elaborate this: To be able to use these therapies to keep the body weight under control is one thing but to be able to transform Consciousness completely so that nothing is needed to be done to maintain the perfect body weight is a totally different ball game altogether. One is about constantly being under pressure and controlling and watching while the other is about Experiencing Life as a human being who does not need to bother about weight at all. The shift that is needed is to transform the consciousness of a human who is overweight to that of one who is always able to maintain his perfect weight.
And if blood sugar was indeed a problem, then my frozen shoulder and eye-sight should have become worse and not better. Because this is generally what happens to people labeled as Diabetics. Think about it...
I also seem to be losing inches effortlessly and slowly while my consciousness transforms and not because of being a Diabetic, as some would like to say. Most of the things in life are pretty much in an auto cruise mode now.
One issue that apparently has become worse over the last six months or so is one of Tremors in my hands. I have always had them right from the teenage years. These have noticeably increased recently which can only mean that some kind of breakdown is happening at the level of the nervous system too. Great because I know that all breakdowns have the potential of breakthroughs hidden right behind them. As long as I am not resisting them, breakdowns are fine. 'Whatever I resist, persists' is one Universal Law that is deeply embedded in my consciousness.
I am now waiting for the perfect physical health to happen. I am 53 and have not yet reached my peak physical fitness. I am a huge fan of the senior marathon runner, Fauja Singhji. He showed the world what all is possible for a human being. I have chosen golf. Time will prove me right. This is something that I am absolutely sure of.
Shifts Happening Within
There are lots of things happening in life right now which were not there earlier. These issues are about the everyday life. Mundane issues about dealing with the people who are there to assist us in the process of living - servants, staff, security persons, maintenance guys etc.
There are also the issues about finances, fixing leaking taps, doing general maintenance work at home and on time, making quick decisions etc. I used to take care of these things earlier too but there was a bit of negative energy involved in the moments that I did. Right now something within is shifting while dealing with these issues.
Confronting others is another huge thing in my life and something that I avoided. Right now this is happening rather too frequently. I seem to be magnetically attracting situations/humans that I need to confront on an everyday basis. That too is adding to the throat situation, I think.
All these life situations are no longer the challenges that they used to be but are more like situations that are there to help me become an Empowered Human Being in all aspects about Life.
So that I can continue painting the colours that I now choose on the canvas called Life.
So that I can live from the Future that I am creating in the Now..
And not from the Past ...
And also bring the Spiritual and Material energies together the way they were meant to be.
And so it is.
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