What is an Actively Accepting Person?

This is a follow-up post for the queries raised after the post “Will Positive Thinking Make You Mad?” was published. There were a few issues that were apparent and a short reply would not have done justice .

>>Accepting the negative is easier said than done.

This is a widely prevalent Belief System and like all other belief systems, this too can be changed. The individuals who need to, and are ready in life to, will ultimately be able to. Please understand that this transformation is a gradual process and will not happen overnight. Rejoice in the fact that at least there is acceptance to the fact that “Negative needs to be accepted”. This in itself is a huge step.

>>What is an Actively accepting individual? 

We are living in a world of Duality which is not a bad thing. In order to understand anything, look at its mirror image to get the answers. So, in order to understand what an Actively Accepting individual, study its mirror image.

A completely Passively Accepting individual goes through life firm with the belief system that all things – good or bad – in life are the result of past life karmas and/or as willed by God and that absolutely nothing can be done to change the life situation.

Actually, there is no problem with this kind of belief system as these individuals are also able to survive and carry on with life, no matter what the situation. More often than not, there is lesser struggle in the lives of individuals who are ‘Accepting Life As It Is’ vs. the ones who want to change things around. Both kind of journeys are honoured and in fact required as together, they make the world as it is.

An Actively Accepting individual could also have the same belief system, i.e. everything in his life is the result of some past life karma or has been willed by God and this is where the similarity can end. He has this additional belief system that he might be able to change things by putting in the required efforts. He therefore is no longer a victim of the past life Karmas as he understands that humans have been given Free Will too.

>>That person (an Actively accepting person) is accepting, but with a condition, will do everything to change it.

On the contrary, Total Acceptance can not take place when there are conditions attached. [I think the words “But I will do all I can to change it” in my earlier post might have triggered this query.]

What actually happens is that in the moment of total acceptance, the individual becomes aware of the reason for that particular darkness to be in his life. The Darkness then becomes a teacher, a friend, a guide and then it does not really matter whether it stays or goes away. In that moment of awareness or enlightenment, the particular situation stops being a burden.

The good news, more often than not, is that it actually transforms to Light.* 

This enlightenment may be accompanied by the knowingness that he/she needs to go through a process of learning and growth. This awareness comes in that moment of silence that inevitably follows the moment of total acceptance.

It is then that the individual needs to put in the efforts that will create the change that he wishes for. Now if he is able to put in the efforts, the changes will certainly take place. On the other hand, if the needed efforts are not put in, then he/she will know the exact reason why things are the way they are. And when the reasons are known, is it really darkness?


>>But if the change does not happen, then what? Next time it will not be accepted with same thought. So the person will be back to where he started.

Please also understand that Change will not happen when there is an air of desperation. Remember whatever you resist, persists. Actually it is not acceptance; rather pretending to accept. It’s just a game that we play.

>>I have been trying to accept the negative, with the thought of it being the destiny.

Actually there is no such thing as destiny. The darkness is there for a reason and will stay till such time that the reason has not been discovered. I look at it as a process of evolution of consciousness taking place.

And there’s also the fact that there is no such thing as “trying to accept”. Either one accepts or does not.

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The question that automatically comes to mind is what should an individual caught in such a situation do?

Simply “Accept Your Non Acceptance of the Situation.” 

>>Now will try it being an actively accepting individual.

Again, you can not “try to be an active accepting individual.” Either, you are or you are not.

<<<<>>>>

The absolute reality is that we all have a bit of both traits. Sometime we are able to accept things actively and at other time we are not able to. Whenever I get caught in this mind game, I just sit back and tell myself, “So what? This is not the end of the world and even if it is…so what?”

This above dialogue actually helps me to understand where I am in life in that moment for that particular situation.

As I said earlier, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Passively Accepting person as this too is part of the overall human journey.

And so it is.

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*Various examples of transformation of energies were witnessed during India’s Freedom struggle when the people being tortured or being taken to the gallows were able to do so with smiles on their faces. Their consciousness in that moment was in total acceptance and the feelings of pain actually did not exist. There was joy only. 

Then there also are humans who put their bodies through extreme stress by participating in adventure sports on a regular basis. Is it painful for them?