Healing vs. Acceptance - The Soul Aspect

Learning how energy moved behind all situations - good as well as bad - felt wonderful because I felt that I finally held the key that will help unlock all the doors that were still closed in life and I will be able to become the Master of my own Destiny. 

For all that I would now need to do was move the neutral aspect from the Dark to Light in all the situations that were non-acceptable in life. I had faith and confidence in my abilities as an energy moving healer and thought that this will help me create all that I wanted. I started dreaming about abundance, perfect body, perfect state of health, perfect relationships and so on.

But much to my chagrin, the moment I started applying 'force' through Reiki (along with the appropriate intentions) for 'fixing' my issues of abundance and weight, the situations actually became worse. Money stopped flowing in altogether while the weight shot up dramatically. (That was in 2006, the evidence for which has already been posted here in this blog.)

I remember that it was around that time that my attention was drawn to the Soul aspect of human beings. I started giving serious thought to what exactly the phrase 'Harmony at the level of Body, Mind and Soul' meant. 

I intuitively knew that it was this 'Soul aspect' that now needed to be understood.

In this post, I am sharing what came next into my life i.e. the knowledge of  how we invite both the good as well as the bad experiences in  life. This knowledge then helped me move into a space where I stopped applying 'force' to bring the desired changes. Because it was then that I learnt about the value of "Accepting All Things As They Are".

Karma vs. 'Inviting Experiences'

The ones who believe in the Theory of Karma are in a way victims because it is the past that is controlling their lives. I, at least, was one. Not only that, staunch believers are unable to create much because the fear of unknowingly creating bad Karma gets in the way. They are too busy anyway in clearing past life karmas while going through a lot of suffering and pain.

Understanding the theory of Inviting Experiences in Life, on the other hand was very liberating. This was something that resonated within me. It, in a way, paved the way for an Uncertain Future and not something that is already pre-conceived and pre-destined as the theory of Karma suggests. In other words, it supports the concept of evolution which  is scientifically known and accepted.

I had no hesitation in intellectually embracing this theory as I felt that it will help me transform from being a person who was Controlled by the Past to be a Creator of a New Future. This theory supported my belief that the future is determined by my actions/deeds/words of the present moment and not of the past which is done and over with anyway. I also had this firm belief that I could change my future. How to do this was what I was looking for?

So I set up exploring this theory with a great deal of enthusiasm. 

As I no longer had Karma to thank (for the good in life) or to blame (for the bad), the first step obviously was to understand how these had manifested according to the new theory of 'inviting experiences' in life. 

How did the Positive (in life) Manifest?

To understand this, I would like the readers to go back to the time when humans were basically hunters. Food and Survival were the major issues in life. The minds were not too developed to think or plan about anything beyond that.

I am assuming that the humans then were looking outwards for inspiration, the way we still do today. The fact is that we are not satisfied with what we have but want what others have. Additionally, we do have a seemingly unquenchable thirst of wanting to know more and more about everything. I believe that these traits of 'Wanting More' and 'Knowing More' have remained unchanged. It is safe to assume that our ancestors also were not completely satisfied with what they had but wanted what others had.

So what would a hunter want most? I guess, if I was not the best hunter in the tribe, then all I would want is to become better than the best. Or stronger and maybe faster. Now, there was no way that I could have improved myself in that particular lifetime, as the knowledge did not exist. I guess I would have lived my life with these latent desires being unfulfilled.

Now this is where the Soul steps in as it is said to continue even after the death of the physical body. I believe that the energies of these unfulfilled desires moved via my soul and I ended up choosing a set of parents with the proper genes to bring me to earth in a future life. So that my past life desires could manifest. So that I could become a better hunter than others.

Now that I had what I had wanted, did I stop at that? No. Because by the time this had manifested, I had become oblivious to the desires that had created this fact and had again started taking the good in life for granted, the way we still do. 

I, or rather the soul in the meantime, had again started looking outwards at what others had and I did not. Maybe the spears, bows and arrows and even the good looking partner of a fellow tribesman... The next lifetime presented it's own unfulfilled desires and it's own challenges. Some of these desires obviously could not be fulfilled and paved the way for the next life's experiences.

And the story continues ...

* * * *

In that sense, we humans don't seem to have changed? And I think it is a good thing. We are evolving, aren't we?

Someone who can sing just a little bit starts dreaming about becoming a rockstar. He may, if life permits and he has the time and everything else that is needed, start putting in the hours that are needed towards practice.

If the efforts and the hard work pay off as they tend to at times, it's great.

But what if it does not happen? I believe that if the person wants it hard enough, then the energies get embedded somewhere deep within and manifest in some future life.

This rather simplistic explanation, in my opinion, helped me understand why some children are born with skills unheard of, the ones we think of as being talented or God-gifted. I like to believe that it is the hard work of some previous life-time manifesting in the current.

But does talent get rewarded all the time? There are many living examples of people born with loads of talent in any particular field not making it big as far as fame, fortune and everything else that goes with it are concerned.

Maybe they did not invite the 'proper' experiences, so to say. They, I think, chose 'talent' but not 'worldly success' too to go with it. Perhaps all that they were thinking of was becoming better at the particular skill and did not care too much about worldly success.

I do not know whether any of this is true but it did take the sting out of my personal pain. I stopped comparing my life with that of the ones who were living in great abundance but, according to me, did not deserve it.

I had also been looking at the ones who never watched their diets, did not work out but yet did not seem to add even a hundred grams of weight during all these years that I had known them. And here I was. Just thinking about food seemed to add kilos to my weight.

I finally started believing that everything in my life had somehow been created by me. I had heard and read about this but was not open to believing this earlier. This new thinking helped as I stopped blaming others for the negative that was there in life. 

My perspective changed. I also started appreciating the good that was already there in my life. I stopped taking it for granted.

* * * * 

This kind of thinking did provide clarity about how the good things seem to manifest especially the ones that we have not done anything for. We all have our share of good things happening that deep within we think we do not deserve.

But what about the negative creations, the ones that create pain and suffering!

How did the Negative (in life) Manifest?

Well this too was easy to understand once I started looking at the energies behind some of the questions that we casually 'ask' without expecting any answers.

For example, I know of a few fellow humans who think that they have a lot of compassion as all that they can think of are the poor, the homeless and the needy. They worry about them and talk about them all the time. Their constant thoughts are, 'How do these humans survive on so little?'

In effect they are asking this question from Universe all the time. These are the energies that they keep on projecting outwards. God/Goddess, being literal responds literally. HE/SHE conspires to fulfill the desires.

These good humans can not 'get' the answers in the current lifetime unless they become bankrupt and lose everything. It is known to happen, right?

There is yet another way for these 'desires' to manifest. By being born in a family in some future life which is very poor and even homeless. Invite the 'experience'.

Now does that sound like Karma? To me, it sounds like 'experiences' chosen without being aware of the choices that have unknowingly been made.

The potentials of being in service

Likewise, there could be one who has always been in service to the ones who are bed-ridden. In other words he/she is already living a life according to the experiences that have been created in some other incarnation.

This life of dedication includes giving up everything: family wealth, relationships and even health.

Now the possibility exists that a few years later, this good-human-who-has-given-everything-in-service now becomes the one who needs to be served as old age and diseases have caught up with him/her.

I do not deny that the potential for him/her to get served do not exist. If this happens,  great but what if this does not happen? 

I guess that if I was in that person's shoes, all that I would yearn for in the remaining days of my life would be 'to be served by someone the way that I had served others'.

And if there's no one there, I guess I would move forward carrying these energies with me embedded in this thing called the Soul.

For my latent 'desire' to be fulfilled, I would need to be born again with the attributes that would invite being Served by others. This is a scary scenario as the attributes are poverty with ill health and maybe being bed ridden.

What kind of Karma is this which is inviting a life of pain and suffering in return for Good Deeds done? Some karmic debt, this?

I guess this is why the wise ones say: 

Be careful what you pray for.

You might just get what you pray for.

This does not mean that I am against the ones who dedicate their lives serving others. It is what goes on in their minds while they serve that is really important. 

Are they able to serve unconditionally without attachments of any kind? 

This is for them to think about...

We have a saying in Hindi language that goes, 

"Neki kar aur kuyen me daal"

which literally translates to

"Do good things and throw them in the well."

* * * *

This theory helped me come to terms with the Principle of Energy Exchange that I had learnt at the Reiki-I level. Till then, I had not really felt comfortable accepting money for  services provided. My ego was being fed, anyway.

I do not have scientific evidence to support this theory but as I said it resonated with me. The more I thought about it, the better it looked.

I then started watching the TV and reading the headlines in the newspapers with a different perspective. I simultaneously watched my own reactions particularly after reading / watching something that disturbed me internally. 

Did the 'experiences' that others had 'helped create' albeit unknowingly, bother me? They too were humans on their own journeys and had the 'right' to create whatever they wanted. I watched my reactions in order to discover the potentials that I was unwittingly creating. 

A lot has shifted within since those days of intense introspection. I literally had to cut myself off from everything to really understand what was happening around and within me but it has been worth the effort and the time. The retreats have been many and now none are needed.

I have become non-judgemental about most of the things in life. It does not mean I have become less compassionate. On the contrary, there is lots more now because I now know that my fellow human beings are inviting a lot of unnecessary experiences out of sheer ignorance. They will learn when it's time for them to do so. Unfortunately, in this moment the mass consciousness is that we learn the lessons only when we are forced to do so. Through creating Darkness...

I do have compassion for the ones who worry unnecessarily about the negative that is happening in the world, the ones who 'care' about how someone feels while undergoing an experience of a negative kind, the ones who are 'sensitive' and enjoy being 'sensitive' are the ones who are inviting a lot of suffering and pain.

I also have compassion for the ones who are apparently very successful in life. I do wonder at times about the future lifetimes that they are unknowingly creating. It sure will be nice to peep inside their minds to know what 'gets them'.

I am not losing any sleep now that I know, 'Why do good humans suffer?' 

It does not surprise me to know that the crime rate has shot up all over the world. Some 'good' humans unwittingly 'inviting' all that suffering because they 'thought' a lot about these kind of experiences that others went through.

This theory became a belief system over time as it took the pain out of the issues in my own life that used to bother me. The acceptance sank in that I was responsible for everything in my life - the good, the bad as well as the ugly.

I do admit that initially there was a bit of sadness associated with these thoughts. I had believed that I was really wise and wonderful to be doing all that I was doing in my current life. Till then the others were responsible for what was not so good in my life. The self-image did take a bit of beating because I obviously had not been a 'wise creator'.

But this new belief also set me free in a way. I no longer blame some God sitting above in some far off place judging me all the time. In fact, before all this came into my life, I already knew somehow that I was the one who was judging myself all the time. 

I was the one that was inviting punishment and pain.

I also used to have these funny kind of thoughts that we were actually: Spirits having a Human Experience. This did feel good, I must add, especially in moments when everything was in balance in my life.

Now this is my belief system. We indeed are Spirits having a human experience.

* * * *

The Turning Moments

In the meantime, things in life were the way they had been. Yes, I had a bit more acceptance but the desire to change things around was still there. In other words, I still had Non-Acceptance.

Till that moment when I finally

Accepted the Non-Acceptance.

This one moment then opened the doorways for new insights to flow in and for new energies to flow in. 

I realized that if I had created all the muck, then I could un-create it too.

By then, I had also learnt and more importantly accepted that Good/Bad are always together. It was just the third aspect, i.e. the neutral one that had taken on the attributes of Darkness. I had also experienced while working as a Healer, that this Neutral could change.

Changing the Neutral from being Dark to being Light

"How to transform the energy of Neutral that had become Dark to Light?" was the new burning desire.

Looking back now, this desire helped create the moment when I became enlightened. I had invited the following experience in order to learn a lot of things in a short span of time.

The moment was when I totally lost it in a meeting of the neighborhood committee that takes care of maintenance and stuff but did not have any money in the bank to pay for  some emergency situations.

There was a gentleman who had been refusing outright to pay his long overdue share of expenses. Others had also started following his behavior and things were turning from bad to worse as there was no money to maintain the apartment complex that we live in. The meeting was to sort out the issues of overdue collections.

In one 'fine moment of anger' I lost it totally and caught hold of him by the collar, hurling the choicest expletives at him while the rest watched, too dumbfounded to react as this was a totally alien behavior that they saw coming from me.

In that moment, I had accepted my Anger to be what it was. I accepted it totally as being my own. Not something to not-have, not something to be rejected but as something as being an integral part of me.

Normally, these situations would have left me shaking like a leaf, not being able to think straight and my blood pressure elevated for days to come.

But in that moment of total acceptance, I observed that I was no longer shaking. My blood pressure was also under control. My thinking faculties had not deserted me the way they had on earlier occasions.

I accepted that I was angry and that was the way I was going to be in that moment.

The energy shifted in that moment of enlightenment.

In that moment, the person I was angry at also got the message that my being angry in the situation was totally justified (not that I was judging myself in that moment - this justification thing came later).

The best part was that the situation started transforming in that very instant. He agreed to pay his long overdue share of expenses and actually started doing it. Others too followed suit. The money that was needed for the emergency was collected overnight and things fell in place.

All the months of efforts to change something that was not acceptable had not worked. The threats, the cajoling, the sweet talks to help him see reason, the emotional blackmail - nothing had worked till that moment.

Just one moment of internal transformation helped bring about change in an amazing way.

By the way, I had been doing Reiki for this situation to be resolved and had curbed my anger several times over the past few months that we had been looking for a resolution. But things changed only when I accepted my Anger to be what it was.

* * * *

So what about the principles of 'Just for today, I will not be angry' and the other one of 'Just for today, I will be kind to my neighbors and all living things'.

I realised that it was these very principles that had held me back. I had taken these too literally. My experience added another dimension to these principles.

Earlier, when I was not allowing my Anger to express itself, the energy had continued to  bother me on a number of occasions including having sleepless nights.

In reality, I observed that when I had accepted this energy as being part of me and when I had allowed it to express itself, I was totally cool inside. Like ice. 

It was just the manifestation at the physical level - angry gestures, expletives, catching the person by his collar and shaking him up. I was not seething internally as I used to do. Drama? You bet and plenty of it.

Earlier when I was not 'being' angry (at another human), I was actually angry within and that too for a number of days at a stretch. In this moment when I allowed my anger to express itself, I was actually 'not angry' within.

He had been wanting to invite this experience in his life but there was no-one who could give it to him. No one wanted to be seen as 'being bad' and I do not blame anyone for that. I too was like them.

But my moment of being bad was actually good for everyone. We have not had a similar issue since that day. Everyone pays on time the way they should.

This gentleman started paying his dues almost immediately. Something that he had not done for years.

Was I being kind to him? In a literal sense, no but in reality yes.

When I look back, this experience was the best thing that could have happened to him too. The 'humiliation' helped Change him. His business improved. He cleared his long standing dues, sold his apartment and moved to another city.

Did I mention this earlier that we humans invite trauma with plenty of darkness before major shifts can occur in our consciousness?

Does this mean that I am advocating negative behavior?

Not at all. I am just stating that in moments when the negative comes out spontaneously, accept it as being a part of you. Maybe, it's not about you any more!

Anyway, negative is just the other side of positive. The two energies are the same. Rather they are not TWO but ONE.

Once I accepted darkness for what it was, it transformed. It had stayed the same as long as I had been resisting it. 

From then on, it was just a matter of time before I started Accepting all that previously had not been acceptable in life. I learnt first hand that all issues in life that were meant to be Dark did have a Light side to them also. Till then it had just been an intellectual concept.

But the neutral aspect that was dark had not changed to Light on earlier occasions because I, like a lot of good human beings, had been rejecting and resisting Darkness till that very moment.

The Benefits 

Over time, I noticed:

• The weight and the inches started to come off - slowly but surely without watching my food or too much of workouts etc. I guess I now have the consciousness that people who are naturally slim have. 
• Abundance is there in life - not as much as I would like to, but it's there. There are the energies of some insecurities about money etc. still there. I guess this is a family thing too and that it is taking care of itself. So no problems there.
• The food habits have changed drastically. Earlier on I could not resist temptation. Now I just can not eat anything after a couple of days of indulgence. 
• Life is much easier because there are no fears of some major issues about health lurking at the back of my mind.  On the contrary, the diseases that were going to manifest are on the way out including the issue of blood sugar. I know that time is on my side.
• Working efficiency has improved tremendously. Routine tasks that used to take forever now hardly take any time. 

There are a few hiccups every now and then that keep on coming as reminders that there is a lot that needs to be accepted. In a sense, these moments are also accepted when a bit of darkness gets created in life. These moments also help to keep me grounded.

Meanwhile, the mind is still wanting more, desiring more.

Some of these desires do manifest almost by magic while the energies of others are generally taken away. There are some energies that stay but along with that there is this knowing-ness that it is not the proper time for those desires to manifest in life, yet.

There is this growing realization and acceptance that in reality we all are:

Spirits having a Human Experience.

We are Gods also. 

Each and every one of us.

We definitely are not paying for any sins committed in some past life. Life is becoming easier...better...effortless.

And so it is.

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PS: I will be taking up: How Accepting the Negative helps transform it? and Do I do any healing etc. along with Accepting all things as they are? in the next post.